My wonderful honey found and purchased for me an antique KichenAide stand mixer. Its beautiful. Sage green with the beehive glass mixing bowl. So naturally I baked a cake. Banana with cream cheese frosting.
I did not diet this weekend,
All right, let me cut myself a little break. I did think about my diet. I watched my portion control. I actually bought fresh fruit to have with breakfast, and ate it! Don't tell anyone but it was really yummy. I had strawberries, raspberries, blueberries and blackberries with a very small portion of my delicious breakfast hash and was very satisfied. In fact afterward I was quite pleased that I hadn't stuffed myself with the heavy potatoes.
My weekend activities comprised of housework, Its really the only activity I had and it wasn't that strenuous. I did some walking but nothing special. I did not weigh in and won't for a few days..... I don't expect good news, so why ask.
So the breaking news is that I drop the night job after this week, What was I thinking? No middle aged, out of shape fat women can work 15 hour days for long without some serious donut fuel. I'm tired, and parts of my body ache that shouldn't ache unless you've ran a marathon (so I'm told) or had lots of really great rowdy sex. (not telling) Diet coke only goes so far! As far as the claims that lots of water will increase your energy, I call bullshit. So next week I will be home with my honey in the evenings, might even hit the gym just for the pure fun of it!
Love ya, mean it.
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Q: Which is more annoying, a former smoker or a former fatty?
To catch up.......... my diet is still horrible but I have increased my water intake. Do I get an atta girl? ...... I know. Probably not.
So this working day and night is getting the best of me. I am super tired. I miss my sweetie, a lot, eating 2 meals a day away from home is difficult, expensive and fattening and I feel like a guest in my own home. I'm on the back end of this assignment and I have learned my lesson, to not do this again.
Diet aside I do feel like I'm turning a stress corner. I see light at the end of the tunnel regarding issues at home. My financial picture is looking up. The day job is picking up and I think it may become enjoyable again soon. When the night job ends I hope to get back to the gym a few nights a week which I think will do wonder for making me feel better physically.
I watched a Zumba commercial this morning while getting ready for work. I am such a victim of advertising, I almost bought the package! Now please understand, I can't dance. I don't even have a small amount of rhythm. I was once asked to leave a step class because I couldn't get it right. I was stepping left when everyone was stepping right, etc, etc. I already have multiple exercise DVD's that I never use and I pay monthly for a qym I rarely see. Still, watching those Zumba folks this morning I wanted in! I want in the skinny bitch club. I wanna shake my hips and not throw out my back. I wanna sweat and look sexy not gross. I wanna have a stomach I can show in public.
Pee break.
At this point as far as I can tell you can lose weight by drinking water because all the extra walking back and forth to the bathroom.
Love ya, mean it.
A: It depend on whether you need to quit smoking or lose weight.
So this working day and night is getting the best of me. I am super tired. I miss my sweetie, a lot, eating 2 meals a day away from home is difficult, expensive and fattening and I feel like a guest in my own home. I'm on the back end of this assignment and I have learned my lesson, to not do this again.
Diet aside I do feel like I'm turning a stress corner. I see light at the end of the tunnel regarding issues at home. My financial picture is looking up. The day job is picking up and I think it may become enjoyable again soon. When the night job ends I hope to get back to the gym a few nights a week which I think will do wonder for making me feel better physically.
I watched a Zumba commercial this morning while getting ready for work. I am such a victim of advertising, I almost bought the package! Now please understand, I can't dance. I don't even have a small amount of rhythm. I was once asked to leave a step class because I couldn't get it right. I was stepping left when everyone was stepping right, etc, etc. I already have multiple exercise DVD's that I never use and I pay monthly for a qym I rarely see. Still, watching those Zumba folks this morning I wanted in! I want in the skinny bitch club. I wanna shake my hips and not throw out my back. I wanna sweat and look sexy not gross. I wanna have a stomach I can show in public.
Pee break.
At this point as far as I can tell you can lose weight by drinking water because all the extra walking back and forth to the bathroom.
Love ya, mean it.
A: It depend on whether you need to quit smoking or lose weight.
Monday, January 9, 2012
Obsession
Monday morning weigh in 224. (different scale but I'm claiming a 4 pound weight loss.)
Just had a conversation with a friend about diet and exercise. I love this guy. I haven't known him that long but we started working together in July and I fell madly in love within days, He's about the age of my daughter so I told him I want them to get married. He's insanely smart and has a wickedly sharp, dry wit.
I want to be clear about how I feel about this young man before I say..... I hate him! (Not really)
In the last few months he made the decision to lose weight and get in shape and being the intelligent, dedicated, OBSESSED man that he is, he lost 40 pounds and counting. I'm thrilled for him I really am but I can't help but wonder do I have to constantly obsess over calories, fat, protein, carbs and exercise to lose weight? Maybe I'm already obsessed...after all I'm BLOGGING about this crap.
Clearly you need more than just obsession you need will power. What will it take for me to want this bad enough to stop eating yummy stuff and get my ass off the couch?
Weekend wrap up.
Did some walking. We took the doggies for a nice long walk. Good for all of us. Also had that nice long walk around Leu Gardens. Food wise not so hot. Let me start with the excuses before I confess what I ate. It was a big football weekend............ We were celebrating a birthday............ I didn't do any real grocery shopping so we didn't have good food in the house............... OK more honesty, I actually was in a grocery store 3 times this weekend, once for cake baking supplies, once for football supplies, once for ice cream for the cake. Already talked about Chubby's... no need to confess twice. Sunday was breakfast out ham and cheese omelet with home fried potatoes and a few bites of pancake. Lunch was a sub. I ate very little of my sub sandwich but I ate plenty of chips. Dinner was pizza and wings... one slice and 4 wings. Birthday cake and ice cream after. Not terrible? My 40 pound weight dropper of a friend would explode if I told him what I ate.
Just had a conversation with a friend about diet and exercise. I love this guy. I haven't known him that long but we started working together in July and I fell madly in love within days, He's about the age of my daughter so I told him I want them to get married. He's insanely smart and has a wickedly sharp, dry wit.
I want to be clear about how I feel about this young man before I say..... I hate him! (Not really)
In the last few months he made the decision to lose weight and get in shape and being the intelligent, dedicated, OBSESSED man that he is, he lost 40 pounds and counting. I'm thrilled for him I really am but I can't help but wonder do I have to constantly obsess over calories, fat, protein, carbs and exercise to lose weight? Maybe I'm already obsessed...after all I'm BLOGGING about this crap.
Clearly you need more than just obsession you need will power. What will it take for me to want this bad enough to stop eating yummy stuff and get my ass off the couch?
Weekend wrap up.
Did some walking. We took the doggies for a nice long walk. Good for all of us. Also had that nice long walk around Leu Gardens. Food wise not so hot. Let me start with the excuses before I confess what I ate. It was a big football weekend............ We were celebrating a birthday............ I didn't do any real grocery shopping so we didn't have good food in the house............... OK more honesty, I actually was in a grocery store 3 times this weekend, once for cake baking supplies, once for football supplies, once for ice cream for the cake. Already talked about Chubby's... no need to confess twice. Sunday was breakfast out ham and cheese omelet with home fried potatoes and a few bites of pancake. Lunch was a sub. I ate very little of my sub sandwich but I ate plenty of chips. Dinner was pizza and wings... one slice and 4 wings. Birthday cake and ice cream after. Not terrible? My 40 pound weight dropper of a friend would explode if I told him what I ate.
Saturday, January 7, 2012
A day.
The day started so nice. After getting up at 7am to walk the doggies (by the way I have 5) I got to go back to bed! Thank you weekend. Got up at 9 and had the house to myself for a few hours, well except for the dogs. Now before you ask I DID NOT utilize this golden time to exercise. I had Rice Chex for breakfast. Yummy. Did some laundry. A little Facebook time. I LOVE Tetris Battle. Ate some cookie dough. Shower. Hair and make-up. Great hair day so I spent a little extra time on the make-up. Don't we all do that?
squeek................... back up......... did I say cookie dough? Yes I did.
Middle of the day brought some frustration. I made a conscious decision to not allow this minor problem to ruin a good hair day and had a lovely trip to visit my future Mother in Law, a little shopping and a delicious lunch. Chicago style dog at Chubby's with tator tots. Make note of the name of the restaurant please. How perfect is that!
Late afternoon brought a lovely walk through Leu Gardens. My love and I were selecting a wedding location. That's right, I'm getting married. During the stroll through the gardens we encountered not one but two weddings underway. And dear gawd the pictures happening!! I am not a fan of pictures. Haven't been in years. Only time will tell if I allow a photographer at my wedding.
After I got home got a phone call from my most favorite and bestest girl friend. We did a little catching up. She was telling me about her holiday visit with her Father In Law............ if I start using FIL and MIL will you know what I mean? Her FIL is having some memory issues which of course led our conversation to my Father.
I am losing my Father slowly but surely to the devastating and heartbreaking Alzheimer's. I love my Father with every fiber of my being, my Mother too. They are perfect parents and perfect partners to each other.
I hope my children find that kind of love.
Love you, mean it.
squeek................... back up......... did I say cookie dough? Yes I did.
Middle of the day brought some frustration. I made a conscious decision to not allow this minor problem to ruin a good hair day and had a lovely trip to visit my future Mother in Law, a little shopping and a delicious lunch. Chicago style dog at Chubby's with tator tots. Make note of the name of the restaurant please. How perfect is that!
Late afternoon brought a lovely walk through Leu Gardens. My love and I were selecting a wedding location. That's right, I'm getting married. During the stroll through the gardens we encountered not one but two weddings underway. And dear gawd the pictures happening!! I am not a fan of pictures. Haven't been in years. Only time will tell if I allow a photographer at my wedding.
After I got home got a phone call from my most favorite and bestest girl friend. We did a little catching up. She was telling me about her holiday visit with her Father In Law............ if I start using FIL and MIL will you know what I mean? Her FIL is having some memory issues which of course led our conversation to my Father.
I am losing my Father slowly but surely to the devastating and heartbreaking Alzheimer's. I love my Father with every fiber of my being, my Mother too. They are perfect parents and perfect partners to each other.
I hope my children find that kind of love.
Love you, mean it.
Friday, January 6, 2012
I shouldn't have looked.
There are 660 calories in 1 McDonald's Steak, Egg and Cheese Bagel.
45% fat, 34 % carbs
I didn't have the nerve to add the hashbrowns.
45% fat, 34 % carbs
I didn't have the nerve to add the hashbrowns.
And so it begins.
Thats it, I'm officially fat. Truth be told I've been portly for years..... as long as I can remember.
Don't get me wrong, I don't suffer from low self esteem. I'm the kind of girl, or used to be the kind of girl, that gets all dressed up, checks the mirror and says, "Damn I look good!" Of course pictures will ultimately prove me wrong but thats OK. But lately, its been pretty hard to get to that Damn I look.... stage. That running dialog as I blow through outfit after outfit.... my jeans shrank.... this shirt makes me look fat....blah blah blah.
So last night I was at my second job and had to make a bathroom trip. Looked in the mirror and realized I looked terrible, OK, so I was tired, I hadn't touched up in hours but allowing for all of that... I still looked terrible. Bloated, puffy, ill. So, just to make myself feel better I stepped on the scale.
228
Read it and weep. I almost did. Oh I've been flirting with this nasty number for awhile. I remember 203. It was depressing. Lets face it, anything over 200, unless your 7 foot tall is depressing. When I hit 203 I told myself, its not that bad, it will be easy to get back under 200. I probably had this conversation with myself while eating a cheeseburger with fries.
I am going to do something about it. Or die trying. For sure if I don't do something I will die. ( I'm a nurse and I know this to be true.)
I intend to post something on this blog daily. This is my attempt to be responsible to myself and have to say OUT LOUD what I'm doing, and not doing about my weight. I will probably talk about some of my past weight milestones and if I get brave enough I will include pictures.
One last thing in the interest of full disclosure.............. I had a steak, egg and cheese bagel with hashbrowns and a diet coke for breakfast this morning. I will check the McDonalds website for calorie count but my guess is about a million. Perfect start.
Love ya, mean it.
Don't get me wrong, I don't suffer from low self esteem. I'm the kind of girl, or used to be the kind of girl, that gets all dressed up, checks the mirror and says, "Damn I look good!" Of course pictures will ultimately prove me wrong but thats OK. But lately, its been pretty hard to get to that Damn I look.... stage. That running dialog as I blow through outfit after outfit.... my jeans shrank.... this shirt makes me look fat....blah blah blah.
So last night I was at my second job and had to make a bathroom trip. Looked in the mirror and realized I looked terrible, OK, so I was tired, I hadn't touched up in hours but allowing for all of that... I still looked terrible. Bloated, puffy, ill. So, just to make myself feel better I stepped on the scale.
228
Read it and weep. I almost did. Oh I've been flirting with this nasty number for awhile. I remember 203. It was depressing. Lets face it, anything over 200, unless your 7 foot tall is depressing. When I hit 203 I told myself, its not that bad, it will be easy to get back under 200. I probably had this conversation with myself while eating a cheeseburger with fries.
I am going to do something about it. Or die trying. For sure if I don't do something I will die. ( I'm a nurse and I know this to be true.)
I intend to post something on this blog daily. This is my attempt to be responsible to myself and have to say OUT LOUD what I'm doing, and not doing about my weight. I will probably talk about some of my past weight milestones and if I get brave enough I will include pictures.
One last thing in the interest of full disclosure.............. I had a steak, egg and cheese bagel with hashbrowns and a diet coke for breakfast this morning. I will check the McDonalds website for calorie count but my guess is about a million. Perfect start.
Love ya, mean it.
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