And so it begins.

Thats it, I'm officially fat.  Truth be told I've been portly for years..... as long as I can remember.
Don't get me wrong, I don't suffer from low self esteem. I'm the kind of girl, or used to be the kind of girl, that gets all dressed up, checks the mirror and says, "Damn I look good!" Of course pictures will ultimately prove me wrong but thats OK.  But lately, its been pretty hard to get to that Damn I look.... stage. That running dialog as I blow through outfit after outfit....  my jeans shrank.... this shirt makes me look fat....blah blah blah.
So last night I was at my second job and had to make a bathroom trip. Looked in the mirror and realized I looked terrible, OK, so I was tired, I hadn't touched up in hours but allowing for all of that... I still looked terrible. Bloated, puffy, ill. So, just to make myself feel better I stepped on the scale.
228
Read it and weep. I almost did.  Oh I've been flirting with this nasty number for awhile. I remember 203. It was depressing. Lets face it, anything over 200, unless your 7 foot tall is depressing. When I hit 203 I told myself, its not that bad, it will be easy to get back under 200. I probably had this conversation with myself while eating a cheeseburger with fries.
I am going to do something about it. Or die trying. For sure if I don't do something I will die. ( I'm a nurse and I know this to be true.)
I intend to post something on this blog daily. This is my attempt to be responsible to myself and have to say OUT LOUD what I'm doing, and not doing about my weight. I will probably talk about some of my past weight milestones and if I get brave enough I will include pictures.
One last thing in the interest of full disclosure..............  I had a steak, egg and cheese bagel with hashbrowns and a diet coke for breakfast this morning. I will check the McDonalds website for calorie count but my guess is about a million.  Perfect start.
Love ya, mean it.